Andrew K. Meyer and Things That Are Stuff

Yo I still don;t get how to reply to comments on fucking Tumblr, but I’m gonna write a post often keeping up with my Majora’s Mask comeback. Figured its the best way for me to use Tumblr. Just posted a new one! Fuck though, I posted it at 2:00am. No noe is gonna read that. Waste of hard work. I hate Tumblr man

And I never played Metal Gear and am therefore ashamed.

I’ve played about three or four hours of the game in the last few days. I have to say, it’s a lot weirder when you are older. As a kid, playing this game did not seem nearly as creepy, for I didn’t really understand back then what made things creepy. I hadn’t as strong reference point for reality as a kid, no one really does. And now that I know what the world is really made of (at least from the mind of a twenty year old), I gotta say, it’s gotten weird man.

I’m writing a lot of this as if you have played it or are familiar with it, but it will still be readable if not.

I have many short things to say about these first few hours:

1. The falling moon is WAY FUCKING SCARIER a concept now then as a child. I never really fathomed the end of the world when I was nine, but after years of experiencing the average human amount of angst and introspection, I know that that moon is the scariest THING. Try to imagine this fucking moon coming closer to Earth every minute in the course of three days, especially when on the third day, it blocks your vision of the whole freaking sky. The fact that everyone in the community of Clock Town isn’t vomiting in fear blows my mind.
2. WHAT THE FUCK IS A DEKU?! Zelda folklore is so creative. Dekus, gorons, zoras…where does this come from? Dekus are people made of wood. Gorons eat rocks and travel via rolling. Zoras are fish people that look way more bad ass than their description. Are these based on mythical creatures of more eastern influences? Like even Lord of the Rings just used elves, dwarves, dragons…all the regular stuff. Fuck these vampire movies…I want a DEKU DRAMA.
3. Tingle is a 35 year old man who thinks he is a fairy and for some reason that never struck me as funny until now. Tingle is an A+ character and screw all who compare him to Jar-Jar
4. All of the characters you can talk to make the weirdest sounds when you talk to them.
5. The concept of the BEAN SELLER is crazy to me. What he is is a bald old man living in a hole under the Deku Palace gardens selling magic beans (which make some plants grow into flying platforms). He is also eating something out of a never ending bag. No humans are allowed to enter the hole and ONLY humans have the ability to use a magic bean. So what is this fucking dude doing in this hole ILLEGALLY waiting for some random guy to also sneak through the palace randomly who also happens to want to buy magic beans. AND THIS RARITY IS GOING ONLY FOR 10 RUPEES. I got rupees coming out of the wazoo, and yet this fucker seems so happy in his bean hole.

So, I think I will lose many followers and gain many others because this blog that I never use is about to enter NOSTALGIA mode. I am replaying The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask for the first time since I was about nine or ten. That’s at least 10 years without the game that I deem as THE video game of my childhood.

While I firmly believe Final Fantasy VII to be the most perfect game of all time, Majora’s Mask is closest to me. Spent so many fucking hours on this game as a kid. And now I will replay it with an adult’s eye. This may prove to be an eye-opening introspective experience, for this game tends to be haunting and creep-master. Replaying it may make me realize why parts of me may be wack.

BUT THAT’S NOT WHY I’M PLAYING. The majority of what I post will just be discussing the games ridiculousness and perfection. It’s an awesome story, with a sword and a Zora mask. WHAT THE FACK MORE DO YOU NEED? I hope you guys read these, even if you don’t play. BUT DO PLAY. It’s crazy and fun and it has the structure of no other video game…ever.

Let’s go to Termina, fairies…